The Lite Side

More Microsoft Blunders

- 2002.04.15

How many blunders can one megalopoly endure? First it was dead people writing in support of the Redmond juggernaut, and the next thing you know Microsoft is hosting an anti-Unix web site on a Unix server. Presented here for efficiency's sake are some prefabricated (emphasis on the fabricated) errors we're likely to see Microsoft make, courtesy of the Lite Side.

10. Microsoft reveals that corporate budgets are written in Lotus Notes

9. Scott Adams reveals that Microsoft was his inspiration for the Dilbert comic strip, suggesting that Windows bugs are written by programmers seeking bonuses for eliminating them

8. Bill Gates tries to hide a flat panel iMac in his mansion during Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous by throwing hot-chili-pepper motif cooking apron over it

7. Steve Ballmer's dance class payments are intercepted due to a security hole in IIS.

6. Microsoft Corp refuses Hotmail accounts to former President Nixon's family because it believes Nixon is a new variant of Unix

5. MSN employees routinely docked pay for giving solutions to problems poorly documented in online help files.

4. It turns out Enron actually had plenty of money but was trying to run their business off of old copy of Microsoft Money.

3. Hotmail server drops site domain registration two years running.

2. Fox News reports Geraldo was navigating using a GPS connected to a PocketPC.

1. Bill Gates loses access to corporate network during COMDEX presentation due to failure to register his "backup office copy " of Windows XP.

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