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Home / Editorial / The Lite Side Apple-Microsoft Cold War Turns Hot 2003.03.11 What's fair for a gander is fair for a goose, my dear departed mother used to say. Steve and Bill certainly think so. Consider: Apple buys Emagic, shutting out Windows users. Microsoft claims sales of Office for X are flat, hinting of dropping the product. Apple releases a brand new browser and presentation software package just in time to steal the thunder from the Tablet PC, which is . . . . . . clearly superior to the "failed" Apple attempts at handwriting recognition, according to Redmond. Now Microsoft has purchased Connectix, and... BusinessWeek is tossing Bochs - a Unix-based open source Windows emulator "easily portable to Darwin" - back in Bill's yard. OH, THE HUMANITY, WHERE WILL IT END? We're not sure, but we have some random unsubstantiated speculation courtesy of the Lite Side's The OS Cold Wars Get Hot Again In the coming weeks, you're likely to see the alternating purchasing of companies take an ugly turn. Here are some predictions... Smack! Apple buys Wacom and ends support for Windows drivers. Pow! Microsoft buys Epson and kills photo printer support for OS X, Biff! Apple leverages Logitech into promising to release OS X drivers first for every product they make, including webcams. Zow! Microsoft gets the state of Washington to outlaw all variants of Unix for state purchases. Blam! Apple persuades the Department of Homeland Security to invest in Macs for 20% of its workstations "just in case the terrorists can read." Splat! Microsoft buys every Mac for sale in Germany and removes Germany from Apple's balance sheet by returning every purchased machine to the Apple Store in Emeryville, complaining of "loud fans." Florp! Apple ships OS X Server 10.2.5, which uploads every known macro virus and worm in existence to every Windows client who connects to a website hosted by OS X Server. Zowie! Microsoft buys the Mac shop across the street from Apple and begins selling eMachines below cost. Plitch! Apple retorts by buying Lindows and sending a Lindows machine to every IT department that purchases any Apple product. For free. Fram! Microsoft buys Filemaker and renames it "Access Lite." Sportch! Apple buys Bungie and makes them cool again. Kratz! Bill buys Pixar and makes a crappy movie everyone is required to see in order to reactivate Windows XP. Ka-Blammm! Steve buys Bill's gardener off and makes him plant kudzu at Bill's mansion. Blooey! Bill hires painters to paint Steve's jet so it looks like it belongs to Austin Powers. Shazbot! Steve challenges Bill to a nationally televised debate. Frak! Bill declares Steve's offer as "not serious" and asks the Defense Department to bomb 1 Infinite Loop. Sproing! Steve hires the Dell Doper to do a Switch ad. Frazzle! Bill posts Steve's email address in a troll at Slashdot. Shazam! Steve hints at unnatural things on Bill's website in a posting at Fark.com. Bap! Bill slaps Steve and mispells some words describing it. Zonk! Steve nails Bill with a Dell to the head. Clang! Bill sets fire to Northern California in an attempt to trap Steve. Schnozz! Steve uses a crop duster to sprinkle the Californium from 70,000 smoke detectors over Redmond, Washington, rendering it uninhabitable. Nortch! Bill buys North Korea and nukes Apple's manufacturing facilities in South Korea. Chad! Steve threatens to detonate a cobalt bomb. Let's just stop this silliness now, before it's too late. Whaddaya say, fellas? This production has been supported by a generous grant from the Justice League. Recent Lite Sides What if Apple thought like a PC company?, 11.01. Apple has innovated and blazed its own trail. But what if it had followed the path taken by the PC copycats? How Microsoft can turn Vista lemons into lemonade, 10.22. How Microsoft could profit by no longer allowing manufacturers to sell new PCs with Windows XP installed. iPods that never passed beta or focus groups, 09.13. "What most Apple fans don't realize is that there were a few iPod variants that never made it out of beta testing and the focus group stage." Pigs fly, snow in Death Valley, and Dvorak uses a Mac, 08.03. What has the world come to when John Dvorak, founding member of the Axis of Macevil, walks into the temple of All Things Macintosh? More in the The Lite Side index. Links for the Day Mac of the Day: 'Yikes!' Power Mac G4, Aug. 1999 - The only Power Mac G4 with PCI graphics was built on a modified G3 motherboard. Group of the Day: SuperMacs is for those using Umax SuperMac clones. November 21 in LEM history: 00: OS upgrades, downgrades - AltiVec vs. Pentium III - 01: Saved by the clones - Computer of the future - 02: Apple Education: Let's get to it - 03: Panther lets Macs and PCs work together, - Lombard SCSI bug - 05: 3 survivors from the 1970s - Real world battery life inadequate - Windows to Mac file transfer with Zip disks - $99 alternative to Microsoft Office - 06: Parallels 1.0 far more polished than beta Recent Content on Low End Mac The Long Term Value of a High End Mac, Andrew J Fishkin, Best Tools for the Job, 11.21. Low-end Macs are more affordable up front, but the flexibility and upgrade options of a top-end Mac can make it the better value in the long run. iPhone #1 Worldwide, Google Voice Search for iPhone, iPhone 3G Battery Pack, and More, iNews Review, 11.21. Also British accents throw off Google voice search, lots of new iPhone apps, universal USB car charger, new protective cases, and more. DisplayPort Copy Protection, Trackpad Update, Netbooks Not to Be Taken Lightly, and More, The 'Book Review, 11.21. Also Apple set for record sales, 4-finger gestures on original MacBook Air, MacBook Apple's best consumer notebook to date, Cricket laptop stand, bargain 'Books from $490 to $2,299, and more. 15 Reasons Macs Are Better, Quad-core iMac in January?, USB 3.0 Spec Finalized, and More, Mac News Review, 11.21. Also 25 years of Macs, 'Snow Leopard' in Q1?, SimpleTech's faster and greener hard drive, Hyperspaces, StarOffice for OS X, and more. Virtualization Shootout: VMWare Fusion 2 vs. Parallels Desktop 4, Kev Kitchens, Kitchens Sync, 11.20. Both programs do the same thing, but one runs Windows XP smoothly alongside Mac apps, while the other bogs down everything but Windows. Just Right: Papa Bear, Mama Bear, and Baby Bear MacBooks, Charles W. Moore, 'Book Value, 11.20. Some people like small and light notebooks, others prefer huge desktop replacements, but the best value tends to be in the middle. Apple Caves to Hollywood with DRM on iTunes Videos, Frank Fox, Stop the Noiz, 11.20. HDCP on the new MacBooks means that you may never really own those videos you buy from the iTunes Store. Leopard Runs Very Nicely on PowerPC Macs, Simon Royal, Mac Spectrum, 11.19. Some claim that Mac OS X 10.5 is so optimized for Intel Macs that it runs poorly on PowerPC hardware. That's simply not the case. No High Definition iTunes Video for You, Dan Knight, Mac Musings, 11.19. The October 2008 MacBooks are preventing users from viewing some high-def iTunes content from being viewed on their external displays. Poor form! Every Working Computer Is Useful to Someone, Allison Payne, The Budget Mac, 11.19. Whether it's a PowerBook 1400, G3 iMac, or Power Mac G4, it could be all the computer someone needs. 3 WeatherBug Options for Apple Users, Charles W. Moore, Miscellaneous Ramblings, 11.19. Have instant access to current local weather conditions with a Dashboard widget, iPhone app, or Firefox plugin. More links in our archive. Recent Deals Best Power Mac G4 and AGP Video Card Deals, 11.20. Used 400 MHz, $50; 733, $100; 800, $199; 1.25 GHz, $300; 800 MHz dual, $200, 867, $300; 1 GHz, $350; 1.42, $400. Best iBook G3 Deals, 11.20. Used 300 MHz clamshell, $150; 366, $199; 800 CD, $180; 600 CD-RW, $240; 700 Combo, $290; 900, $369; 14" 600, $360; 900, $449. Best Power Mac G3 and PCI Video Card Deals, 11.20. Used beige 300 MHz, $25; blue & white 350, $80; 400, $90; 450, $105; PCI video cards from $15; shipping additional. Best iMac G4 Deals, 11.18. Used 15" 700 MHz Combo, $243; 800 MHz, $280; 1 GHz, $380; 17" 1.25 GHz SuperDrive, $400; 20", $549. Best MacBook Air Deals, 11.18. New 1.6 80, $1,150 after rebate; 120, $1,744 a/r; 1.8 80, $1,794 a/r; 1.6 128 SSD, $2,150; used 1.8 64 SSD, $1,500; new, $2,200 a/r; 1.86, $2,398 a/r. Best Mac OS X 10.0-10.3 Deals, 11.18. Mac OS X 10.0.3, $30; 10.1, $20; 10.2, $60; 10.3 CD, DVD, $100; CD, $119; 10.1 Server, unlimited users, $58; 10.3 Server, unlimited, $150. Best iPod nano Deals, 11.17. Refurb 3G/4 GB, $79; new, $114; refurb 8 GB, $99; new, $125; 3G/8 GB, from $134; 16 GB, from $189. Prices include ground shipping. Best Titanium PowerBook G4 Deals, 11.17. Used 1 GHz with SuperDrive, $478 plus shipping. Best Xserve deals, 11.17. Used G4/1 GHz, $999; G5/2 GHz, $1,288; new 2.0 4-core Xeon, $1,900; refurb 3.0 4-core, $2,599; 2.8 GHz, $2,499; 3.0 8-core, $3,499. More deals in our archive. <go to the Lite Side index> Entire Low End Mac website copyright ©1997-2008 by Cobweb Publishing, Inc., unless otherwise noted. All rights reserved. Advice presented in good faith, but what works for one may not work for all. Please report errors to .   LINKS: We allow and encourage links to any public page as long as the linked page does not appear within a frame that prevents bookmarking it.   Access our RSS news feed at http://lowendmac.com/feed.xml.   Email may be published at our discretion; email addresses will not be published without permission, and we will encrypt them in hopes of avoiding spammers. If you prefer your message not be published, mark it "not for publication." Letters may be edited for length, context, and to match house style.   PRIVACY: We don't collect personal information unless you explicitly provide it. For more details, see our Terms of Use.   Low End Mac is an independent publication and has not been authorized, sponsored, or otherwise approved by Apple Inc. Apple, the Apple logo, Macintosh, iBook, iMac, eMac, iPod, iPhone, PowerBook, MacBook, MagSafe, Mac Pro, Apple TV, and AirPort are registered trademarks of Apple Inc. 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