Low End Mac Reader Specials

TypeStyler For Mac OS X is Now Shipping! Download The Free Fully Functional 60 Day Tryout at www.typestyler.com

Poker Mac Don't install Parallels to play poker online! Poker Mac will show you how to download and install a native Mac poker application such as Full Tilt Poker Mac.

Laptop Hardware Provided by TechRestore - Overnight Mac & iPod Repairs.

Compare products like desktop computers, apple laptops, apple macs, and LCD Monitors side by side! All the information and reviews to make the best purchasing decision for new mobile phones, sat nav systems, or MP3 players. The Ciao online shopping community makes searching products easy for you.

The Lite Side

Measuring the Reality Distortion Field

- 2002.02.14

The Reality Distortion Field (RDF) has been the subject of much public debate but little scientific inquiry. The RDF is supposedly a field capable of supressing skepticism or criticism in the intended subject regarding certain commercial projects, most notably in Apple™ computers and Pixar™ computer animated movies.

Some characteristics of the RDF's physical manifestations are easily inferred from past observations. The larger the field strength of the RDF, the more likely a Macworld audience is going to buy into the presentation. RDF energy is not conserved and must be replenished on a regular basis.

  1. Relationship to distance. As with the other forces of nature, the RDF weakens with distance. However, even though it is very strong near the source, it is remarkably robust over distances at least as large as the earth. The evidence for this is the strong market share Apple enjoys in countries such as Japan. Therefore it is unlikely to be a simple inverse square effect (such as gravity or light intensity). Since it falls off more slowly than a classic inverse square rule, it is either 1/d or 1/dn, where d is the distance and n is a positive number between 0 and 2. Until sufficient data are gathered to discriminate, it is our view that the RDF falls off as 1/d.
  2. Relationship to time. The longer the time from when an RDF burst is emitted to when it is no longer effective seems to be cyclical in nature with a period of approximately 0.5 year. It peaks after each Macworld keynote and falls off rather substantially after that. Therefore, it is probably a sinusoidal function.
  3. Prejudicial constants. Certain individuals seem immune to RDF phenomena, whereas others are more susceptible and may remain entranced for as long as six to eight weeks. There is an empirical constant W which expresses the individual's susceptibility to RDF phenomena. If W is small, the individual is not susceptible to RDF effects; if W is large, RDF effects linger for weeks, months, and sometimes years. Whatever the value of W, its relationship with RDF strength is direct.
  4. Rumormorphological effects. The greatest RDF field effects are seen when the major announcement of the show meets, exceeds, or trumps the expectation of rumor sites reporting on upcoming product prior to the keynote at Macworld. Therefore the difference between the RDF and the RMDF is the exponent of a constant; if the difference is positive, the RDF effects increase; if the difference is negative, the RDF effects decrease.

Summary: These well known effects constrain the behavior of the RDF force field to the following field equation:

RDF strength = W x (RmRMDF) x cos(2 x pi x T/0.5)/r

Where W is the Prejudicial Constant (Windows IT Professionals W = 0; Longtime Macolytes, W = 1),

Rm is the Rumormorphological Constant (which be defined to be equal to 1)

RMDF (the current value of the Rumormorphological effect; can equal -1 if rumors are conservative or lame or +2 if rumors are wildly speculative; equals +1 if they appear in mainstream press at midnight before Keynote)

T = time remaining until next Macworld

r = physical distance from Steve Jobs (in meters)

Conclusion

This mostly analytical approach can be complicated by various effects such as the so-called Seybold effect. The periodicity can be deflected temporarily by the Tokyo Skew Factor. And, of course, there are the well known Microsoft Binary Trigger (= 0 if Office is selling poorly, = 1 if Office is selling well) and Adobe Field Dampening Press Release effects. These are all under investigation at this time.

We are also investigating the effect of Artistic Advertising vs. Ads that Address the Real Issues (sometimes called Chiat-Day manifold space side effects) and the Woznian Background Radiation that permeates Apple space.

We find the lack of empirical data so great that claims of sensitivity to RDF phenomena documented on sites such as AtAT to be questionable at best. While humans are susceptible to the RDF field, it has yet to be conclusively demonstrated that wallets are susceptible to RDF field strength at any given time. Therefore we call for a great deal of empirical data and are currently seeking funding for a cluster of G4 Power Macintosh towers to create a parallel processor capable of dealing with the many variables involved in the problem.

This research was supported in part by the little heart-shaped valentine in Low End Mac's online store.

Recent Lite Sides

Links for the Day

Recent Content on Low End Mac

Recent Deals

About LEM | Support | Usage | Privacy | Contacts

Entire Low End Mac website copyright ©1997-2010 by Cobweb Publishing, Inc., unless otherwise noted. All rights reserved. Advice presented in good faith, but what works for one may not work for all. Please report errors to .
  LINKS: We allow and encourage links to any public page as long as the linked page does not appear within a frame that prevents bookmarking it.
  Access our RSS news feed at http://lowendmac.com/feed.xml.
  Email may be published at our discretion; email addresses will not be published without permission, and we will encrypt them in hopes of avoiding spammers. If you prefer your message not be published, mark it "not for publication." Letters may be edited for length, context, and to match house style.
  PRIVACY: We don't collect personal information unless you explicitly provide it. For more details, see our Terms of Use.
  Low End Mac is an independent publication and has not been authorized, sponsored, or otherwise approved by Apple Inc. Apple, the Apple logo, Macintosh, iBook, iMac, eMac, iPod, iPhone, PowerBook, MacBook, MagSafe, Mac Pro, Apple TV, and AirPort are registered trademarks of Apple Inc. Additional company and product names may be trademarks or registered trademarks and are hereby acknowledged.

Custom Search

Amazon.com

Navigation

Used Mac Dealers
Apple History
Video Cards
Email Lists

Favorite Sites

MacSurfer
MacMinute
MacInTouch
MyAppleMenu
InfoMac
Macs Only!
The Mac Observer
Accelerate Your Mac
RetroMacCast
PB Central
MacWindows
The Vintage Mac
   Museum
DealMac
DealsOnTheWeb
Mac2Sell
ramseeker
Mac Driver Museum
JAG's House
System 6 Heaven
System 7 Today
the pickle's Low-End
   Mac FAQ
Abandonware
   Petition
Mac vs. PC Info

Affiliates

The Apple Store
Mac Connection
B&H
MacMall
TechRestore
ExperCom
Crucial Memory
batteries.com

Low End Mac's Amazon.com store

Advertise

All of our advertising is handled by BackBeat Media. For price quotes and advertising information, please contact at BackBeat Media (646-546-5194). This number is for advertising only.

Open Link

Problems viewing this page with Internet Explorer 5.5 or 6? It works fine in other browsers, including IE 7. We recommend Firefox for those using Windows, as it is standards based and more secure than IE 6 (and earlier). More LEM visitors use Firefox than any other browser.