Quicklinks: · Power Macs · 'Books · Early Macs · Week's Best Deals · Best Buys · OS Downloads

Gaps People Really Care About

Here at the Lite Side we're always interested in exploiting conflict for money! That's what the American Dream is all about! And where there's conflict, there's sure to be a "gap" defined on some evening news program - such as the gender gap, the generation gap, and the gap between David Letterman's teeth!

Only thing is, the kind of gaps you usually hear about are old, tired news to most of us. Either that, or GAPS are mall stores you wouldn't want to take your grandmother to visit, because she couldn't afford it on the allowance she gets at the rest home! The popular media doesn't usually deal with the kinds of decisions ordinary people make in their daily lives, like which side of the toast do you butter or what kind of lunch is most disgusting to your dentist! So we here at LEM decided to do something about it! That's why we present

Gaps People Really Care About

(with apologies to Mad magazine)

Dead Cow Gap
Burger King vs. McDonald's

McDonald's: We provide nutritious food at an affordable price.

Burger King: We flame broil our burgers, and they taste better, too!

McDonald's: Hasn't anyone told you that burned meat is a carcinogen?

Burger King: Hasn't anyone told you that hamburger comes from cows?

The Lite Side: Our personal favorite is salt, lightly seasoned with french fries. Urk! Gark! Bleah! Eat a salad!

Commuter Gap
Public transit vs. driving your self

Public transit: Riding the train is better for the environment and lets you read or take a nap.

Driving Yourself: When you drive yourself you can go where you want to go, when you want to go there.

Public Transit: You call sitting in traffic jams going where you want to go?

Driving Yourself: It's hard to sleep when the creep next to you reeks of four kinds of cheap liquor!

The Lite Side: We prefer jobs where you don't have to commute every day, like the job that starts with winning the lottery!

The Star Trek
The Original Series (TOS) vs. The Next Generation (TNG)

TOS: There's nothing like Classic Trek for genuine human drama.

TNG: Our show is more sensitive to the diversity of 20th century culture.

TOS: Those NextGen people are stiff and wooden like Al Gore! They don't get upset about anything!

TNG: Oh yeah? Well Kirk was responsible for spreading AIDS over half the galaxy!

The Lite Side: We're still waiting to find out if Kirk is Spock's father!

Baby Bottom Gap: Pampers vs. Cloth diapers

Pampers: New Pampers with Baby Dry keep you drier than ever!

Cloth: The natural way to keep your baby healthy.

Pampers: Who wants to handle wet cotton diapers? The mess! The smell!

Cloth: What is that gooey little grit that soaks up the wetness in those disposable diapers? Some day some kid's going to eat one of those diapers and dehydrate himself!

The Lite Side: We find that many of these problems go away if you don't feed the brat!

The Brain Gap:
PBS vs. Nickelodeon

PBS: Enjoy our educational programming free of commercial interruptions.

Nickelodeon: Our popular programs are supported by sponsors who provide valuable services for parents.

PBS: We sell stuff, too - like Elmo dolls! We just don't rub your face in it every ten minutes! Those other guys, all they can come up with is some green puke goo!

Nickelodeon: At least our children's characters aren't morons like Blarney and the Teledummies are! That's what makes me want to puke!

The Lite Side: Our TV stayed on WCW SmackDown so long the channel selector melted stuck! We have no idea what you're arguing about!

The Rust Bucket Gap
Dodge vs. Ford

Dodge: Dodge Different.

Ford: Quality is Job One.

Dodge: And Job 2 is restarting the car you Found On the Road Dead!

Ford: What's with those hog-nosed trucks you make, anyway?

The Lite Side: Our current car is an Edsel and our dream car is a DeLorean! We think it's time to go back to the good old days, like before Lee Iacocca asked for money to sell his company to Germany!

The Boob Tube Gap
Video vs. DVD

Video: Video tape is an inexpensive way for you to see the latest movies.

DVD: DVD lets you see digital-quality playback on your TV or on your PC!

Video: Who wants to watch a movie on their PC when they spend all day working on it?

DVD: At least DVD players don't have tracking problems that make you think you're a 60s hippie doing LSD!

The Lite Side: We worked for hours to come up with a novel idea: See a movie in a theater, morons! Better yet, read a novel in a theater! You know what we mean!

The Brain Gap II
Nintendo vs. Playstation

Nintendo: Nintindo RULZ!

Playstation: PLAYSTATIONE RULZ!

Nintendo: PLAYSTASHUN SUX!

Playstation: NINTINDO RILLY SUX!!!! U SUK 2! I KANT SPEL!

The Lite Side: It's great to see our education system still encourages meaningful debate!

The Browser Gap
Netscape vs Explorer

Marc Andreesen: Our browser's so good, we decided to give it away for free!

Bill Gates: I'm so dang rich, I decided to give our browser away for free!

Marc: The only reason people use Explorer is because they're too stupid to do anything but your illegal monopolistic default install!

Bill: When you get a worldwide monopoly on the basic piece of office equipment, come back and talk to us! Otherwise, go home and take a nap, loser! Come to think of it, don't you work for someone else now? Why are we arguing with you? We already won!

The Lite Side: If Mulder and Scully think there's a conspiracy in government, just wait until the Justice Department gets through with Micro$loth! Whohoo! Fur's gonna fly! Heads will roll! Pundits will pund!

The OS Gap
Macs vs. Windows PCs

Steve Jobs: Think Different!

Mike Dell: Too Different! No one wants a Mac! Buy Dell!

Steve Jobs: Dells are hot, underpowered and ugly!

Mike Dell: Jobs are unnecessary! I say get rid of 'em! … um, wait…

The Lite Side: We're afraid our biases are showing! We use our Dell for a doorstop when it's not shipped out for service! Funny how the hard drive doesn't like being hit by a door!

Recent Lite Sides

• What if Apple thought like a PC company?, 11.01. Apple has innovated and blazed its own trail. But what if it had followed the path taken by the PC copycats?
• How Microsoft can turn Vista lemons into lemonade, 10.22. How Microsoft could profit by no longer allowing manufacturers to sell new PCs with Windows XP installed.
• iPods that never passed beta or focus groups, 09.13. "What most Apple fans don't realize is that there were a few iPod variants that never made it out of beta testing and the focus group stage."
• Pigs fly, snow in Death Valley, and Dvorak uses a Mac, 08.03. What has the world come to when John Dvorak, founding member of the Axis of Macevil, walks into the temple of All Things Macintosh?
• More in the The Lite Side index.

Links for the Day

• Mac of the Day: 'Yikes!' Power Mac G4, Aug. 1999 - The only Power Mac G4 with PCI graphics was built on a modified G3 motherboard.
• Group of the Day: SuperMacs is for those using Umax SuperMac clones.
  
• November 21 in LEM history: 00: OS upgrades, downgrades - AltiVec vs. Pentium III - 01: Saved by the clones - Computer of the future - 02: Apple Education: Let's get to it - 03: Panther lets Macs and PCs work together, - Lombard SCSI bug - 05: 3 survivors from the 1970s - Real world battery life inadequate - Windows to Mac file transfer with Zip disks - $99 alternative to Microsoft Office - 06: Parallels 1.0 far more polished than beta

Recent Content on Low End Mac

• The Long Term Value of a High End Mac, Andrew J Fishkin, Best Tools for the Job, 11.21. Low-end Macs are more affordable up front, but the flexibility and upgrade options of a top-end Mac can make it the better value in the long run.
• iPhone #1 Worldwide, Google Voice Search for iPhone, iPhone 3G Battery Pack, and More, iNews Review, 11.21. Also British accents throw off Google voice search, lots of new iPhone apps, universal USB car charger, new protective cases, and more.
• DisplayPort Copy Protection, Trackpad Update, Netbooks Not to Be Taken Lightly, and More, The 'Book Review, 11.21. Also Apple set for record sales, 4-finger gestures on original MacBook Air, MacBook Apple's best consumer notebook to date, Cricket laptop stand, bargain 'Books from $490 to $2,299, and more.
• 15 Reasons Macs Are Better, Quad-core iMac in January?, USB 3.0 Spec Finalized, and More, Mac News Review, 11.21. Also 25 years of Macs, 'Snow Leopard' in Q1?, SimpleTech's faster and greener hard drive, Hyperspaces, StarOffice for OS X, and more.
• Virtualization Shootout: VMWare Fusion 2 vs. Parallels Desktop 4, Kev Kitchens, Kitchens Sync, 11.20. Both programs do the same thing, but one runs Windows XP smoothly alongside Mac apps, while the other bogs down everything but Windows.
• Just Right: Papa Bear, Mama Bear, and Baby Bear MacBooks, Charles W. Moore, 'Book Value, 11.20. Some people like small and light notebooks, others prefer huge desktop replacements, but the best value tends to be in the middle.
• Apple Caves to Hollywood with DRM on iTunes Videos, Frank Fox, Stop the Noiz, 11.20. HDCP on the new MacBooks means that you may never really own those videos you buy from the iTunes Store.
• Leopard Runs Very Nicely on PowerPC Macs, Simon Royal, Mac Spectrum, 11.19. Some claim that Mac OS X 10.5 is so optimized for Intel Macs that it runs poorly on PowerPC hardware. That's simply not the case.
• No High Definition iTunes Video for You, Dan Knight, Mac Musings, 11.19. The October 2008 MacBooks are preventing users from viewing some high-def iTunes content from being viewed on their external displays. Poor form!
• Every Working Computer Is Useful to Someone, Allison Payne, The Budget Mac, 11.19. Whether it's a PowerBook 1400, G3 iMac, or Power Mac G4, it could be all the computer someone needs.
• 3 WeatherBug Options for Apple Users, Charles W. Moore, Miscellaneous Ramblings, 11.19. Have instant access to current local weather conditions with a Dashboard widget, iPhone app, or Firefox plugin.
• More links in our archive.

Recent Deals

• Best Power Mac G4 and AGP Video Card Deals, 11.20. Used 400 MHz, $50; 733, $100; 800, $199; 1.25 GHz, $300; 800 MHz dual, $200, 867, $300; 1 GHz, $350; 1.42, $400.
• Best iBook G3 Deals, 11.20. Used 300 MHz clamshell, $150; 366, $199; 800 CD, $180; 600 CD-RW, $240; 700 Combo, $290; 900, $369; 14" 600, $360; 900, $449.
• Best Power Mac G3 and PCI Video Card Deals, 11.20. Used beige 300 MHz, $25; blue & white 350, $80; 400, $90; 450, $105; PCI video cards from $15; shipping additional.
• Best iMac G4 Deals, 11.18. Used 15" 700 MHz Combo, $243; 800 MHz, $280; 1 GHz, $380; 17" 1.25 GHz SuperDrive, $400; 20", $549.
• Best MacBook Air Deals, 11.18. New 1.6 80, $1,150 after rebate; 120, $1,744 a/r; 1.8 80, $1,794 a/r; 1.6 128 SSD, $2,150; used 1.8 64 SSD, $1,500; new, $2,200 a/r; 1.86, $2,398 a/r.
• Best Mac OS X 10.0-10.3 Deals, 11.18. Mac OS X 10.0.3, $30; 10.1, $20; 10.2, $60; 10.3 CD, DVD, $100; CD, $119; 10.1 Server, unlimited users, $58; 10.3 Server, unlimited, $150.
• Best iPod nano Deals, 11.17. Refurb 3G/4 GB, $79; new, $114; refurb 8 GB, $99; new, $125; 3G/8 GB, from $134; 16 GB, from $189. Prices include ground shipping.
• Best Titanium PowerBook G4 Deals, 11.17. Used 1 GHz with SuperDrive, $478 plus shipping.
• Best Xserve deals, 11.17. Used G4/1 GHz, $999; G5/2 GHz, $1,288; new 2.0 4-core Xeon, $1,900; refurb 3.0 4-core, $2,599; 2.8 GHz, $2,499; 3.0 8-core, $3,499.
• More deals in our archive.

<go to the Lite Side index>

Support LEM

Affiliates

The Apple Store
.mac
iTunes Store
Club Mac
MacMall
MacResQ
ExperCom
eBay
Amazon.com
PayPal
PCMall
PC Zone
Crucial Memory

Our advertising is handled by BackBeat Media. For detailed price quotes and advertising information, please contactat BackBeat Media (646-546-5194). This number is for advertising only.

Entire Low End Mac website copyright ©1997-2008 by Cobweb Publishing, Inc., unless otherwise noted. All rights reserved. Advice presented in good faith, but what works for one may not work for all. Please report errors to .
  LINKS: We allow and encourage links to any public page as long as the linked page does not appear within a frame that prevents bookmarking it.
  Access our RSS news feed at http://lowendmac.com/feed.xml.
  Email may be published at our discretion; email addresses will not be published without permission, and we will encrypt them in hopes of avoiding spammers. If you prefer your message not be published, mark it "not for publication." Letters may be edited for length, context, and to match house style.
  PRIVACY: We don't collect personal information unless you explicitly provide it. For more details, see our Terms of Use.
  Low End Mac is an independent publication and has not been authorized, sponsored, or otherwise approved by Apple Inc. Apple, the Apple logo, Macintosh, iBook, iMac, eMac, iPod, iPhone, PowerBook, MacBook, MagSafe, Mac Pro, Apple TV, and AirPort are registered trademarks of Apple Inc. Additional company and product names may be trademarks or registered trademarks and are hereby acknowledged.