MSN, Black Bras, and the Future of Apple

Dirk Pilat - 2001.11.20

A very happy good day to all you intrepid Mac UK readers out there, who had to wait another two grueling weeks for another bout of inconspicuous rambling from beneath the roofs of London.

Last night Birgit, the best girlfriend ever, and I were stumbling back from Shoreditch, an area stacked with excellent bars in London's East End. We were making our way down into the smelly intestines of this megalopolis (also called "the tube") and, while we were standing waiting for our train to arrive, were staring at a huge MSN UK billboard depicting the cleavage of a blonde lady only clad in a black bra. Not that this is an unusual depiction (this is liberal Europe, don't forget) or that it was an unusually large cleavage, but it was the blurb that really spoilt the whole picture: "MSN UK: Register, Search, Buy online." That's it. Nothing more.

Maybe I'm too stupid for this ad, but somehow I just don't get it. Why would I (or anybody, really) register with Microsoft, search and buy online (probably in the process giving my details to that Orwellian nightmare that is their "Passport" scheme) if I can happily do that already with my independent ISP using Google. The mind boggles.

What that lady with the black bra is supposed to have to do with the product remains to be seen. So now the digital lifestyle has finally hit the underwear barrier - we have to urge Apple to sell their products accordingly: We could have a naked, unclad, and tastefully groomed index finger pointing at us, surrounded by large letters saying, "The centre of your digital universe." Or maybe Jeff Goldblum's hairy bellybutton, full of fluff subtitled: "OS X: cleans your hard drive automatically over night."

Good night.

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