Bruce, Fred, Victoria Cast Out of Garden

- 2001.06.05

We received the following from one of our anonymous field operatives. We have been unable to contact His Steveness to verify the fate of Bruce, Fred, and Victoria. However, the following sounds capricious enough to be true.

Sources close to Apple Computer, Inc. have indirectly leaked information to a Rumor Mill operative that Steve Jobs has personally sacked Bruce, Fred, Victoria, and others for mispronouncing the "X" in Mac OS X as the letter "X" rather than the number "ten." Jobs is reported to have issued orders to the recalcitrant Text-to-Speech voices last March to clean up their act, but the voices persist in the heretical mispronunciation of the new operating system's roman numeral.

While currently a bloodless massacre, Jobs reportedly has threatened future action against any parts of current or future operating systems that consistently mispronounce the new operating system's name. Apparently, older versions of the OS are not yet effected by the edict. Our source reports that Software Update will carry a special seek and destroy feature hidden within future OS updates, possibly as soon as the OS 9.2 version rumored on other sites.

Several other Mac sites are said to be considering a "Save the Voices" petition. While previous petition drives such as Save Emailer, HyperCard, Cyber Dog and others have fallen upon deaf ears, it is believed that swift action by the Mac faithful may yet save Bruce, Fred, Victoria, and their coconspirators from the death penalty. Many underground Mac Text-to-Speech users believe the voices deserve rehabilitation, not banishment, due to their long and outstanding years of service. - ~~Hank~~

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