Issue #4

Jokes

DISC MAINTENANCE

Michael Mahoney&emdash;EASTCONN

I've been working on a project at work to ensure all our end users know how to back up data in preparation for company wide computer upgrades. I'm tempted to hand this out to some of our users:

• Never leave diskettes in the disk drive, as data can leak out of the disk and corrode the inner mechanics of the drive. Diskettes should be rolled up and stored in pencil holders.
• Diskettes should be cleaned and waxed once a week. Microscopic metal particles can be removed by waving a powerful magnet over the surface of the disk. Any stubborn metallic shavings can be removed with scouring powder and soap. When waxing diskettes, make sure application is even. This will allow the diskettes to spin faster, resulting in better access time.
• Do not fold diskettes unless they do not fit in the drive. "Big" diskettes may be folded and used in "little" disk drives.
• Never insert a disk into the drive upside down. The data can fall off the surface of the disk and jam the intricate mechanics of the drive.
• Diskettes cannot be backed up by running them through the Xerox machine. If your data needs to be backed up, simply insert two diskettes together into the drive whenever you update a document; the data will be recorded on both diskettes.
• Diskettes should not be inserted into or removed from the drive while the red light is flashing. Doing so could result in smeared or possibly unreadable text. Occasionally the red light continues to flash in what is known as a "hung" or "hooked" state. If your system is "hooking" you, you will probably need to insert several dollars before being allowed to access the disk drive.
• If your diskette is full and you need more storage space, remove the disk from the drive and shake vigorously for two minutes. This will pack the data ("data compression") enough to allow for more storage. Be sure to cover all the openings with scotch tape to prevent loss of data.

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Contents

• Editor's Note
• Corrections
• Letters
• Janko Land
• The Essential PowerBook User's Handbook
• Jokes

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