The Lite Side

50 Things To Do with a Broken Dell Optiplex Computer

- 2005.11.02

I'm not one to gloat - well, really, I guess I am - so when I read recently that Dell is missing its sales forecast predictions two quarters running, well, I just couldn't help myself - I emitted a Dilbertian Buh-WAH-HAHAHA! as I set down to write

50 Things To Do with a Broken Dell Optiplex Computer

based on the article linked below, which states, "In addition to dropping sales, Dell said that it would take a US$450 million charge to replace broken Optiplex desktops and restructure its workforce." $300 million of that is for onsite replacement of failed Optiplex GX270 and GX280 motherboards.

What do you do with a bazillion broken Optiplexi?

  1. Doorstop.
  2. Planter.
  3. Stand for Macquarium.
  4. Heat sink for quad G4 processor.
  5. Hot dog warmer.
  6. Two words: toaster oven.
  7. Add a nice country comforter and use it for a foot warmer.
  8. Hollow out the inside and use it as a bedpan.
  9. Shelf organizer for broken Dell keyboards.
  10. Break up the letters in "Optiplex" and use them to spell real words.
  11. Finally lift your PowerBook off the desk and put it at proper ergonomic height.
  12. Did I say doorstop? How about footstool? Yeah, let's go with that. Footstool.
  13. Have a $50 fire sale and watch the stampede as people run away.
  14. Fix the mechanical parts, install Windows with no security updates, connect it to the Internet for 15 minutes, and watch it break again.
  15. Donate it to your least favorite charity.
  16. Temporary broken couch leg replacement.
  17. Use it to make the milk crate with your textbooks the same height as the other, smaller milk crate with your notebooks so the wooden lid on top you use for a desk is more level. Leveller. Levellish.
  18. Dellquarium.
  19. Old black Dell + Big Solar Heater = Smokin' hot computer
  20. Put transistor radio inside and use resulting crappy reception to teach about magnetic shielding effects of enclosed conductors to a physics class.
  21. Take it to New Orleans, leave it on a street corner with the words "loot me" sprayed on it.
  22. Donate it to FEMA.
  23. Leave behind as a tip for your taxi ride in NYC.
  24. Extreme snowboarding.
  25. Projectile motion video analysis.
  26. Feed the trebuchet.
  27. Use stacks of them stuffed with fiberglass to build a house in a 3rd world country and feature the transformation of a Dell Computer to a mud-encrusted hut on "Extreme Makeover."
  28. Prop on the TV show "Scare Tactics."
  29. Fill with Krispy Kremes. Lemon-filled. Ironic, ain't it?
  30. Spinach dip.
  31. Glue tuna cans on them to make enormous Lego bricks.
  32. Fill all ventilation holes with hot glue. Turn on and wait for the smoke signals.
  33. Cup holder (the CD-ROM).
  34. Remove every single application except Solitaire and install in an empty study carrel at your local library.
  35. Candy dish for next Halloween.
  36. Wire from stripped out drives cables can be twisted to make cute little figurines.
  37. USB cable holder. Plug in USB port.
  38. Inspiration for stupid list of things to do with broken Dell.
  39. Tie six behind a monster truck to help announce your wedding.
  40. Fill with special "sleepy mix" brand dog food for that annoying monster next door. Leave on back porch.
  41. Ticket holders please slide your tickets in the ventilation slot.
  42. Four words: Microsoft Bob Demo Machine.
  43. Using iTunes for Windows and play "Wild Wild West" theme song until your brain explodes in sheer joy.
  44. Blackbody radiation model.
  45. Place under McMath-Pierce Solar Observatory in Arizona to mark the hours under the building like a sundial.
  46. Model of a black hole in a planetarium.
  47. Put in an airplane along with cassette recorders and instrument recorders. Paint it orange.
  48. Pencil holder.
  49. Paint yellow and create a yellow brick road.
  50. Repair it, go online, and use it to order a Mac.

Link: Apple fortunes rise as Dell misses Q3 financial targets

Join us on Facebook. Follow us on Twitter.

Recent Lite Sides

Links for the Day

Recent Content on Low End Mac

Recent Deals

About LEM Support Usage Privacy Contact

Low End Mac is an independent publication and has not been authorized, sponsored, or otherwise approved by Apple Inc. Entire Low End Mac website copyright ©1997-2012 by Cobweb Publishing, Inc. unless otherwise noted. All rights reserved. Apple, the Apple logo, Macintosh, iPad iPhone, iMac, iPod, MacBook, MagSafe, Mac Pro, Apple TV, and AirPort are registered trademarks of Apple Inc. Additional company and product names may be trademarks or registered trademarks and are hereby acknowledged.
  Advice is presented in good faith, but what works for one may not work for all. Please report errors to .
  LINKS: We allow and encourage links to any public page as long as the linked page does not appear within a frame that prevents bookmarking it.
  Email may be published at our discretion unless marked "not for publication"; email addresses will not be published without permission, and we will encrypt them in hopes of avoiding spammers. Letters may be edited for length, context, and to match house style.
  PRIVACY: We don't collect personal information unless you explicitly provide it. For more details, see our Terms of Use.

Custom Search

Share

Follow Low End Mac on Twitter
Join Low End Mac on Facebook

Low End Mac Reader Specials

Quantcast

TypeStyler 11 is now in the Mac App Store!! -- Special Introductory Price of $59.95!! -- To Buy From The Mac App Store Click Here Now!! Or buy direct from Strider Software.

Quantcast

Quantcast

Quantcast

Poker Mac Don't install Parallels to play poker online! Poker Mac will show you how to download and install a native Mac poker and Mac Casino applications in minutes.

Quantcast

Quantcast

Quantcast

Quantcast

Favorite Sites

MacSurfer
Cult of Mac
Shrine of Apple
MacInTouch
MyAppleMenu
InfoMac
The Mac Observer
Accelerate Your Mac
RetroMacCast
PB Central
MacWindows
The Vintage Mac Museum
DealMac
Deal Brothers
Mac2Sell
Mac Driver Museum
JAG's House
System 6 Heaven
System 7 Today
the pickle's Low-End Mac FAQ

Affiliates

Amazon.com
The Apple Store
The iTunes Store
PC Connection Express
GainSaver
Parallels Desktop for Mac
eBay

Low End Mac's Amazon.com store

Advertise

All of our advertising is handled by BackBeat Media. For price quotes and advertising information, please contact at BackBeat Media (646-546-5194). This number is for advertising only.

Open Link