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The Lite Side

End Vendor License Agreement

- 2003.06.10

They're called "shrink wrap licenses" because you usually can't read them until you've paid for the product and opened the package. And they usually say that by simply opening the package you've already agreed to the license terms that you couldn't even read until after you opened the package - and we'll just bet the store didn't let you do that before you paid for it.

End user license agreements are designed to protect the manufacturer and may take away a lot of your rights. They may prohibit you from reviewing their product, give the manufacturer the right to revoke your right to use a software package at any time, or even state that files you create using the product belong to the vendor, not to you.

In this age of growing software monopolies, draconian licensing agreements, and oppressive legislation like UTICA and DMCA, we try to turn the tables with the Lite Side's

End Vendor License Agreement

Please read the following and click on I AGREE before accepting my payment for your product.

It is the policy of the LOW END MAC USER GROUP that purchases made by members of the GROUP will only be made if the vendor of the DESIRED PRODUCT agrees to sign and approve the END VENDOR LICENSE AGREEMENT (EVLA), which you are now reading. This EVLA stipulates the following:

  1. You (THE VENDOR, heretofore referred to as YOU) cannot sell my name, address, phone number, email address, social security number, model number, serial number, hair color, eye color, weight, height, or any other distinguishing characteristic without specific written permission not obtained through the use of a USER INTERFACE. Permission must be written, signed in ink, no facsimile allowed.
  2. You cannot call my home, mail my home, or send email to my email address without my express permission. You must assume, by default, that permission is NOT given at registration.
  3. All registration questions for your product must be written in the same format, so when choosing NO for one answer, NO is the default response for all answers.
  4. Anything I make with my own computer is my property, and you cannot use it in any form.
  5. Any software I install on my computer is my business, and you cannot collect information about the internal contents of my hard drive after I purchase your product.
  6. You cannot require me to register a product more than once.
  7. All ongoing, recurring registration expenses must be clearly explained at purchase, or I will not pay them. This includes fees for services such as .mac and .NET. You must, however, continue to provide the services.
  8. If I tell you that I do not want to register once, once should be enough. Do not ask me again. By clicking on AGREE, you agree never to ask me anything more than once.
  9. If I attempt to quit a piece of software, YOU must make sure it does not ask me to verify that command more than once.
  10. You must NEVER delete critical posts from your user bulletin boards. You may, however, clump them together.

Violation of any of these conditions indicates your permission for me to stop payment on your product without returning same product, no questions asked.

This article featured on Slashdot under A Model End Vendor License Agreement. Lots of thoughful comments.

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