The Lite Side

Microsoft Executive Steps Down after Embarrassing Gaffe

- 2003.05.27

REDMOND, WA. Steve "Dancin' Fool" Ballmer, CEO of Microsoft Corporation, stepped down today to put to rest a growing rebellion within Microsoft's Business Leadership Team over Ballmer's discredited policy of crushing or purchasing competing companies. The latest controversy surrounds a lawsuit by British company Sendo, in which Sendo alleges that Microsoft stole its expertise and technology and made it available to competing companies without permission.

Several weeks ago, addressing a routine corporate briefing in Redmond, Washington, Ballmer offhandedly made a comment that led to his downfall. During the briefing, which was attended by representatives of the press and several Microsoft board members, Ballmer referred to a past Microsoft policy of "improving" innovative ideas and calling them Microsoft's original work, a policy which has long been disavowed by Chief Software Architect Bill Gates.

Echoing, at first, Microsoft's party line about its mission, Ballmer began the meeting by stating, "We will continue expanding platform innovation, benefits, and opportunities for customers and partners, openness in discussing our future directions, getting feedback, and working with others to ensure that their products and our platforms work well together."

Later in the meeting, Ballmer addressed a question about a pending lawsuit.

"The unfortunate lawsuit brought against us by Sendo will be dealt with quickly. Let's face it, this isn't the first time we've had to respond to a lawsuit claiming our innovation was generated somewhere else."

He then make a small offhand comment for which no one present - especially Ballmer - could have predicted the consequences.

"You know," he is reported to have said, "If we had just countersued Apple all those years ago, we wouldn't have had all these problems today. Who would have ever heard of Macintosh?"

Ballmer's statement was greeted by laughter and light applause by those present. None of the persons we interviewed today would admit to being amused, however.

"I thought it was a pretty retro statement," according to Jay Allchin, who has since moved on to host a late-night talk show. "I thought we left that kind of politically incorrect thinking behind three, maybe four years ago," he continued.

"I have declared that feature appropriation has no place in our corporation," said Bill Gates. "Those kinds of innovation strategies are not effective, and, furthermore, they are just wrong." Gates did not go so far as to call for Ballmer's ouster, however.

Ballmer attempted to put the matter to rest, spending several minutes apologizing for the embarrassing gaffe. "I never was an advocate of feature appropriation," he said. "I have many friends who use Macs. Heck, there are people on my staff who use Macs."

Ballmer even went so far as to appear on the popular Mac talk show Your Mac Life, where he was grilled mercilessly by host Shawn King. "I've always liked Macs," said Ballmer.

"Didn't you once advocate dropping Microsoft Office from the Mac?" countered King.

"Well, I didn't know about how well Office for the Mac would help us design new interfaces then," replied a red-faced and sweating Ballmer. "Besides, you say a lot of things in brainstorming sessions that you don't really mean. I mean, everyone where I grew up used a PC, I've always used a PC, and it's part of what you're used to growing up," he continued.

"You mean it's okay to take the Office out of the Mac, but not the PC out of the Office," said King.

In response, Ballmer jumped out of his chair and began running around King's studio, screaming, "Developers, developers, developers!"

Ballmer's abdication means that Microsoft needs to establish new leadership for the Business Leadership Team. An announcement is expected at any time. Ballmer will continue with the company as a junior software engineer and will check U.S. to metric conversions on software architectural blueprints.

Join us on Facebook. Follow us on Twitter.

Recent Lite Sides

You Might Be a Computer Geek If..., 2009.06.17. 20 signs that you just might possibly be a computer geek.
What if Apple thought like a PC company?, 2007.11.01. Apple has innovated and blazed its own trail. But what if it had followed the path taken by the PC copycats?
How Microsoft can turn Vista lemons into lemonade, 2007.10.22. How Microsoft could profit by no longer allowing manufacturers to sell new PCs with Windows XP installed.
More in the The Lite Side index.

Links for the Day

Mac of the Day: Mac IIfx, introduced 1990.03.19. This 'wicked fast' 40 MHz Mac trumped the 33 MHz DOS world.
February 14 in LEM history: 98: A perfect compact Mac - 00: Extended computer warranties worth the cost? - Making your PC work with your Mac - 01: Customize Microsoft Word - 02: Quadra revives a passion for computing - 03: Real world performance - DIY Pismo screen replacement - Best Mac for writing - 03: Fastest browser on the Mac - 06: 15" MacBook Pro - Impressions of a newly acquired Lisa - Finding and using free WiFi - Apple should liberate OS 9 - 07: New Mac mini cheaper than upgrading a Power Mac - 08: Falling in love with OS X
Support Low End Mac

Recent Deals

About LEM Support Usage Privacy Contact

Low End Mac is an independent publication and has not been authorized, sponsored, or otherwise approved by Apple Inc. Entire Low End Mac website copyright ©1997-2012 by Cobweb Publishing, Inc. unless otherwise noted. All rights reserved. Apple, the Apple logo, Macintosh, iPad iPhone, iMac, iPod, MacBook, MagSafe, Mac Pro, Apple TV, and AirPort are registered trademarks of Apple Inc. Additional company and product names may be trademarks or registered trademarks and are hereby acknowledged.
Advice is presented in good faith, but what works for one may not work for all. Please report errors to .
LINKS: We allow and encourage links to any public page as long as the linked page does not appear within a frame that prevents bookmarking it.
Email may be published at our discretion unless marked "not for publication"; email addresses will not be published without permission, and we will encrypt them in hopes of avoiding spammers. Letters may be edited for length, context, and to match house style.
PRIVACY: We don't collect personal information unless you explicitly provide it. For more details, see our Terms of Use.

Custom Search

Follow Low End Mac on Twitter
Join Low End Mac on Facebook

Low End Mac Reader Specials

TypeStyler 11 is now in the Mac App Store!! -- Special Introductory Price of $59.95!! -- To Buy From The Mac App Store Click Here Now!! Or buy direct from Strider Software.

Don't install Parallels to play poker online! Poker Mac will show you how to download and install a native Mac poker and Mac Casino applications in minutes.

Affiliates

Amazon.com
The Apple Store
The iTunes Store
PC Connection Express
GainSaver
Parallels Desktop for Mac
eBay