The Lite Side

Faster Isn't Always Better

- 2002.10.15

It'll never happen, but just imagine if Apple faced the Gateway challenge directly....

A Gateway Profile 4 and Apple iMac are sitting side by side on a road, stretching off to the distance. Revving engine sounds make it clear we are watching a simulation of a drag race. The Gateway sticks it's "tongue" out at the iMac, which looks at it but doesn't respond.

A gunshot is heard. The Gateway rears up and disappears at high speed. The iMac takes its time, starting slowly to the accompaniment of slow, instrumental music.

The Gateway is shown roaring over hills and screeching down straightaways.

The iMac slowly careens around a curve we've seen the Gateway on already.

The Gateway looks back and sees the iMac in the distance.

The iMac tools along - and even pauses to smell some flowers beside the road. Presently we see it pull up next to the crashed Gateway, which displays the Blue Screen of Death, and whose drive is endlessly ejecting and retracting. The iMac looks at the Gateway, shakes its head just like Pixar's Luxo, and drives on through a finish line.

Voice-over: "Some cars are faster than others. Some cars are more popular. But sometimes, all you want to do is get to where you're going."

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